Code Brown

Last night I uttered the words every parent fears – CODE BROWN!! It was a relatively predictable bath time; Henry and I had just had a giggle at a couple of fart bubbles when I spotted a few strange brown particles appearing in the water. It took me a while to figure out what was going on – had an Anzac biscuit made its way into the bath? When a few definite logs appeared it dawned on me, we were in the middle of a situation.

Thankfully one of my dear friends was over for dinner and could provide emergency back-up while we tackled the crap. We whisked a rather shocked baby out of the poop and into a cuddle and towel while we cleaned the bath of the offending matter. A quick scrub of the bath, and a brief shower for Henry, and things were almost back to normal from our end. For poor Henry though, the trauma of being in a bath full of floaters lasted much longer – it took looking at 61 pages of cat photographs to bring him down off the ledge.

I did feel a world of empathy for his suffering.  I still remember how mortified I was when I crapped my pants at the age of four. My attempt to hide the incident and the predictable discovery of my chocolate secret only added to my embarrassment, and it could well be the cause of a subsequent life of poo shame. I’ve never been a confident pooer, staying at people’s houses where there’s no lock on the toilet door (a sliding door in a high-traffic area is my worst nightmare) will send me into a constipated panic. 

I digress; I’m hoping Henry is young enough to forget all about his first (and hopefully last) code brown, I want him to breeze through life pooing hither and thither without a care in the world, it definitely makes daily life a lot easier. But enough talking shit for now, I’m sure there’ll be more next time, Mel x

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears

It was Henry’s first trip to Melbourne Zoo yesterday and I was anticipating some excitement overload when he witnessed some of the big animals in action. Surprisingly our little man was scared by pretty much every animal in the zoo except for the birds, and was more excited by puddles en route to the enclosures, the zoo’s flowers, and the horsey ride at the playground.  I think it’s good to be reminded every now and then that even though they're fearless at home, and seem much bigger than they are due to the giant presence they have our in lives, they are still just tiny little people who need our reassurance when they’re out in the world discovering new things.

My highlight of the zoo visit was spotting a cassowary peering out of the bushes in the bird avery. I couldn’t think who he reminded me of with his little hat, and then I realised it was Muammar Gaddafi.

This week we also had a great haul of records from the op shop, which has reinvigorated my faith that bargains are still out there! Some of the gems are Neil Young’s Tonight’s the Night, Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy, and Bruce Springsteen’s first album Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J. There’s a couple of YouTube links below to some of my fave tracks off the albums if you feel like a listen. I’m going to try and figure out Spotify which I hear is good for just playing music on blogs – and for avoiding YouTube’s annoying ads and amateur vids. Hope you’re all surviving the last month of winter. x Mel x

Led Zeppelin D'yer Mak'er

Neil Young Alberquerque

Runnin' Down a Dream

I did it! I ran 10km today without needing to be transported out of the event in a rescue helicopter. Admittedly, I was overtaken by six-year olds and men old enough to be my great grandfather, but hey, I didn’t come last.

It was freezing cold and muddy, toilets were on limited supply (it meant an urgent pre-race wee in the surrounding bushlands), and the event wasn’t particularly well organised but it didn’t matter once it was underway. I got so in the spirit of things that at the 4km mark I tried to high five an old man who’d had to start walking - he didn't high five back. I finished the race in a more subdued bubble of determination, limiting my enthusiasm to an encouraging smile here and there which seemed to be better received.

Run, Wonder Woman!

One of the highlights of the race was grabbing one of those little plastic cups at the half-way mark, guzzling a bit and then tossing it to one side, 'cause goddamnit, I didn’t have time to stop! 10km seemed like a bloody long way, and despite needing to do a poo desperately for about the last 3km, I think I managed my run pretty well. Slow and steady may not win the race, but it got me across the line.

Tom Petty - Runnin' Down a Dream

Dirty Creatures

Children are grimy little things. This year I’ve been sicker than ever  - I’ve had chicken pox, three bouts of gastro, and three or four decent colds just to top things off. I blame toddlers primarily - Henry and his chums keep their grubby little hands busy rustling about in the dirt, slapping puddles, picking food of floors anywhere and everywhere… and let’s not forget those teeny snotty noses which produce endless torrents of bogey for weeks on end. I don’t know where it all comes from but I know where it goes, Henry’s fight not to have his nose wiped means he’s doing it himself across everyone’s clothes, cushions, couches, carpets, toys… you name it. I think I might have to gladwrap the house before the next plague strikes us.

Aside from ailments, it’s been a challenging couple of weeks.  Henry’s lucky he’s so cute and that I’m pretty much won over with a smile or a flutter of his long lashes. As well as generally doing the exact opposite of what I ask 99 per cent of the time, he’s  going through an extended biting phase which has been a bit of a blow to my parenting morale.  I know things like this happen when they’re teething or frustrated but there’s always a fear that biting is the beginning of something more sinister - we’ve seen Children of the Corn, we know what can happen.

My sister-in-law gave me some sage advice early on in parenthood -  that just when you think you can’t take something anymore, whether it’s biting, hitting, whining, poor sleeping, food refusal, the stage miraculously passes.  Something new usually lands in its place but you’re so damned relieved the difficult phase is over, that you have fresh energy to tackle the next challenge.

Despite all his struggles and frustrations, Henry is also in a really lovely stage. I guess that’s toddlers for you; they are adorable and hilarious when they’re not being nightmarish and hideous. He says lots of words, he’s making friends (that he likes to kiss goodbye – cute), and he’s observing all the goings on in the world with an unending enthusiasm.  I showed him some hot air balloons in the sky one day, only to endure a half -hour meltdown when the “boons” sailed out of sight. He still whimpers a plaintive “boon” every now and then and points to the sky, so no doubt he’s going to be pretty excited and then pretty upset when we see them go past the next time.

My only other news is that I’m running a 10km race tomorrow, which will be the most athletic thing I've ever done in my life (my running prior to about 3 months ago was limited to bolting across the road to avoid getting hit by a car).  I'm not planning on partaking in the actually ‘race’ aspect tomorrow, I’ll be happy just to heave myself over the finish line.  I’ve also got a cold, which will be a good excuse if I need to get airlifted straight out of there and home to the couch. I definitely think motherhood has given me the motivation to do something like this, I’m more inspired now to set goals for myself and I know there’s no point procrastinating and putting things off because time is precious. Seize the Day, and all that stuff.


Who knows where to from here, I might attempt a half marathon next year and maybe by then Henry will be old enough to come and cheer me on. And in other good news - Winter’s nearly over people. Hooray! xxx